While sex may seem like a movie subject, it’s actually not based on a Hollywood film. It’s about two people sharing one another’s bodies. It’s a combination of funny, sensual, and awkward moments that can make for an enjoyable experience. We all experience these moments in our lives: the awkward queef, the jiggling thighs, and the cum face.
If you’re constantly worrying about how you’ll look when you’re having sex with your partner, then you’re not doing the right thing. Although there’s no wrong way to have sex, it can be hard to maintain an enjoyable experience if you’re feeling tense.
No one can remember the times when sex was bad. They only recall the times when they felt liberated and their minds were blown away.
Free your mind and enjoy your orgasms
It can be very frustrating when you’re not able to fully focus on the sensual moment because of all the thoughts that are swirling around in your head.
Some of the causes of this can include anxiety, stress, and inexperience. It could also be caused by trauma, boredom, or self-esteem issues.
Regardless of the reason, we’re here to assist you in finding pleasure in sex. We’ve listed down some of the finest techniques to relieve stress and relax during intercourse.
1. Know that it’s all in your head
Although sex can be physical, it’s also more mental. If you’re not having an enjoyable experience, it’s not because of your physical body but because of your mind.
To avoid experiencing this issue, try taking a break from your daily routine and practicing mindfulness meditation. This will help you remove all the distracting and damaging thoughts from your head and allow you to fully enjoy the pleasure of sex.
To improve your pleasure, try shifting your perspective from focusing on how you look to paying attention to the sensations that are happening in the moment.
2. Lower your expectations
Don’t expect too much from yourself when it comes to sex. If you want to have an enjoyable experience, lower your expectations. You don’t have to exhibit every pose in the Kama Sutra to please your partner.
Performance concerns are not exclusive to men. Women may be worried about being sexy enough or not being able to finish quickly enough. Self-criticism can also negatively affect a person’s mood.
This could be a sign that you’re experiencing issues with your partner. Having a talk with your partner about these issues will allow you to work on your concerns and feelings. One of the most important steps in being comfortable with being fully naked is to let someone touch and kiss your private parts.
3. Pleasure yourself in your own time
If you’re not feeling confident about having sex with a partner, then it’s time to start masturbating on your own. This will allow you to learn what makes for an orgasm and what thoughts are driving your desire. Having this knowledge will allow you to feel more comfortable when it comes to intercourse.
As you explore your body, take a minute to notice the sensations that you’re feeling. Meditate on the positive and negative aspects of your experience as you move your fingertips over various areas.
Take a minute to consider how it feels to be present with yourself, both emotionally and physically. Don’t rush to orgasm, and try to remain focused on how you feel as you go.
4. Why can’t you relax during sex?
Although you may be aware of the issues that are affecting your sex life, the question is still why. By writing down your concerns, you can explore the problem and find a solution. These may have started or you’ve been dealing with them for a long time.
Although it’s not your fault, there are various factors that can affect your sex drive. Some of these include mental health issues and medication.
If you think that your sexual health issues are getting worse, it’s important that you seek medical help.
If this has an effect on your sexual life, then you should talk to your partner. Alternatively, you can also consult a sex therapist.
5. You need to invest time in sex
Although having a quickie is fine, you should allocate some time to relaxation. Just like you, your partner should also explore your body and determine what feels good. You can try going at your own pace, as you may both find something special.
You should avoid rushing to the finish line as it will not benefit you. You should allow yourself enough time to relax and enjoy the experience.
6. Keep open communication
One of the most important factors that you should consider when it comes to having sex with a partner is having a good talk about what’s going on. This will allow you to focus on the positive aspects of the experience and let your partner know that it’s feeling good.
When it comes to asking for what you want or guiding your partner, don’t hesitate.
Instead of being critical of your partner, try to focus on the areas that they’re failing at. This will allow you to help them out a bit and show them how sensitive they are.
Try expressing your desires in a loud and direct manner. Being present and communicating are vital for good sex and can help you relax.
7. Remind yourself of who you’re having sex with
The person who wants to have intercourse with you may be a long-term or one-night stand lover. The point is that they believe that you are attractive.
You don’t need to be concerned about any of the minor imperfections you may have as long as she’s not thinking about them. Once you have fully exposed, the focus of the other person will be on the pleasure of the deed.
8. Don’t spectate, participate
Your head is filled with thoughts about someone who has never been with you. This is referred to as spectatoring, and it was studied by researchers during the 1960s, who were known as Johnson and Masters.
The concept of spectating implies that being fully present during sex is totally different from being in the moment. You become fixated on dissecting the event and judging yourself instead of enjoying the experience fully.
9. Be in the moment
Although your mind may wander aimlessly during the course of the session, it’s important to remain focused on the present.
It’s also important to refrain from focusing on the goal of orgasms. If you’re not able to enjoy yourself properly because of this, you might not be able to achieve the satisfaction that you desire.
When your mind wanders into the spectator zone, try to shift into a seductive mode. This can be done by focusing on your partner’s enjoyment or on yourself.
10. Do what you like to do in bed
If you like to masturbate then do it in front of your partner or you can also choose to have a more gentle or loving experience with your partner. You should try to do things that are comfortable for you during intercourse.
Some of the things that you may enjoy most in the bedroom are delicate kisses or snuggles after sex. It’s important to keep in mind that these aren’t necessarily sexual acts that are extreme or euphoric. Eventually, your sexual preferences will expand, but at the same time, there’s no rush.
11. Foreplay
Many people avoid foreplay and engage in penetration without realizing it.
Although foreplay may be a little bit too much for some people, it’s still important to consider it when it comes to having sex. It can help you relax and become more aware of your partner’s body.
It’s also important to remember that you’re not the only one who can provide it all. If she’s pleasing you, try to tell yourself that all that you need to do is enjoy the experience. This will allow you to focus on the pleasure of having sex with your partner.
Try to focus on the sensations. For instance, visualize your partner’s tongue moving over your penis. Then, try to determine where on your body it feels the most amazing.
12. It’s okay to say no
You are within your rights to say no to things that make you uncomfortable. The saying “no” doesn’t imply that you are never going to have sex. Instead, it can be used to indicate that you are either ready or not at the moment.
Although saying “no” can elicit mixed feelings, it’s not necessary to continue having sex that you don’t want.
No one can claim that you are either a prude or a non-sex lover when you say no to sexual advances. By saying no to unwanted sexual activities, you can advocate for yourself.
13. Do not be shy about fantasizing
During intercourse, you may not be entirely focused on the task at hand. As your mind wanders aimlessly, it’s fine to let it do so.
Instead of focusing on your body or how your face looks, try to think about something positive. For instance, you can daydream about a beautiful beach or a hot celebrity. Doing so can help your mind wander toward thoughts that are uplifting for your sexual experience.
14. Don’t pay attention to society
The attitude towards sex has changed significantly in the last few years. Nowadays, people are no longer afraid to talk about it, and this is great. Still, society’s normalization of sexualized imagery and the thought of sex can put some individuals under pressure to have sex in certain ways.
One of the possible factors that can cause people to have a distorted view of sex is the lack of education about it. This can also be caused by the feeling of shame that people have around it.
15. Don’t compare yourself to porn
Although pornography can provide you with an insight into what you’re interested in, keep in mind that it doesn’t reflect the real sex.
16. Laugh at those awkward moments
One does not make it through life without making some minor mistakes. You have to learn how to let go of the awkward moments and move on from them. There will be times when you will hear funny noises, bumps, and leg cramps, but that is part of the fun.
One does not have to follow a certain rule book when it comes to sex. It’s a beautiful thing that allows one to have fun and express themselves freely.
17. Set the mood properly
If you’re having a hard time relaxing during sex, try to find a time and environment that will allow you to have fun. Having a clean and comfortable room can help you feel more at ease. In addition to that, you should also play some of your favorite songs and light a scented candle.
Getting enough time can also help you feel ready for sex. After all, having a good self-care routine can help keep your body feeling fresh and clean.
18. Talk to your partner
Discussing your concerns or issues related to sex may be beneficial, especially when you’ve been avoiding it. By talking about what’s going on, your partner may be able to understand what’s happening in your life.
Having a clear understanding of the issues and problems that you’re experiencing can help you work through them together.
After all, you have learned how to relax properly during sex, but you still need to implement this technique into your daily life. This is why we have provided you with some effective tips that will enable you to have sex the way you desire it in no time.