We all get hurt sometimes. Whether it’s from online comments or our partner forgetting our birthday, hurt feelings can come in many forms. There are multiple ways to react to it, and how one responds to pain will determine if they exhibit true character.
We cannot control how we feel, but we can still do something about it. Being able to react rationally and calmly is very important in showing true strength. Even if it’s easy to lash out after being hurt, there is so much more to be said if you do the opposite.
What do you do when people hurt you?
Before going into detail about how to react when people hurt you, it’s important to consider the last time you felt this. For instance, did you drink until you were already wasted or did you give the person the cold shoulder?
This discipline is probably the hardest thing in life to practice since we don’t want to act rationally after being hurt. We also have to ask ourselves what purpose our anger serves.
Suppose your partner lies to you and says that they want to buy something that you don’t like. You would feel betrayed and angry.
Revenge is not the best way to deal with an individual that hurt you. Lashing out and trying to get back at them in the same way only adds to your pain.
It can be tempting to give in to your feelings after being hurt, especially if they are fresh. However, this can lead to feelings of regret and worsen the situation.
How do you properly deal with it when people hurt you?
Instead of trying to get back at them or expressing anger, try to remain calm. This discipline will allow you to avoid doing anything that will immediately make you regret it.
This discipline does not involve repressing your feelings, just not reacting to them immediately. It will allow you to think about the best way to handle an individual hurt.
If you’re feeling angry, can you resolve the issue by expressing anger or can you talk it out with one another? The latter usually prevails.
What to do when people hurt you
You feel like you have to lash out whenever someone hurt you. You may also want to hurt them back.
Being able to handle situations involving people who hurt you can help improve your life. It can be a friend’s betrayal, a partner’s failure to make an important contribution, or a coworker’s theft of your idea.
1. Breathe
You should try to breathe deeply to let go of any anger you have. Responding immediately could lead to saying something that you’ll regret, and you won’t be able to determine how the situation could have been handled if you were more calm.
Although breathing is typically not on our minds when we feel hurt, it is often necessary. Take a deep breath and try to calm down. During times of hurt, our emotions can get heightened.
Try to make more rational decisions after you have cooled down. For instance, take a walk, get some exercise, or eat a snack.
2. Think about it
After taking time away from the hurt, you should consider the situation at hand. It could be that the person was intentionally harming you, or you overreacted.
Are you seeing the situation through the eyes of anger and pain? It’s important to ask yourself these questions, as you are only lying to yourself if you are not honest with yourself. Self-awareness is vital when people hurt you, even if it can be hard to admit your faults.
3. Talk about it with someone else
It can be very challenging to talk about how frustrating or painful it is to be hurt by others. But, you have to be vulnerable.
This is not directed toward the individual you are mad at, but toward the people who were not involved in the incident. Reach out to a close friend or family member to talk about what happened.
They may be able to give you advice or provide a different perspective on the issue. It can be frustrating when friends don’t take our side, but playing the devil’s advocate can be helpful in the long run. Listening to what the other person is saying without feeling hurt or offended is important.
4. Talk to them
After you have cooled down, talk to the individual who hurt you. Tell them how upsetting the experience was for you and let them know if they can do anything to make amends. You may need time or an apology, or both.
Passive-aggressive behavior will not do you well, and you must be willing to talk to them and explain the situation calmly.
5. Ask yourself if it is worth it
Being open and honest with those who hurt you is very important in order to prevent resentment and bitterness from building up in your relationships. You have to consider the person’s actions and whether they were intentional or honest.
If the issue you are feeling hurt over is petty, then it’s not important to make it more significant. Instead, try to assess if it is worth pursuing.
6. Is your trust broken?
Sometimes, people can hurt you in various ways. However, reaching a breaking point where you can no longer trust them can be a difficult process. If they hurt you so badly that you don’t trust them anymore, then tell them that you’re not able to trust them.
Trust is like a glass that can be broken. It will take a lot of effort to get it back to its former state. Sometimes, it can’t be fixed.
If they can’t fix their behavior, then it’s time to tell them that you don’t trust them anymore. This will allow you to assess if the trust is gone for good. If the damage was so severe that it would prevent you from trusting them again, then tell them.
7. Can you forgive them?
One of the most important factors in relationships is trust, but forgiveness is different. Even if the person who hurt you can regain your trust, if you can’t forgive them, it can still cause a strain in the relationship.
Without forgiveness, there will be room for resentment and inequality. Although it can be hard to forgive, failing to do so will prevent you from moving on from the hurt.
If you care about the person who hurt you, but it’s not possible to forgive them, then don’t force yourself to do so. Instead, forgive them when you’re ready to do so.
8. Manage your reactions
Although you can’t control how you feel, you can still manage your reactions to people who hurt you. It’s important to learn how to react appropriately when this happens. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.
If you’re devastated, angry, or betrayed by the actions of others, then there is still a choice you can make regarding how you will react. The way you react to others can affect your situation.
Are you capable of handling the pain adequately if you don’t manage your reactions? This is because, in order to learn how to deal with it, you will have to manage your emotions.
9. Create space between them
Being away from those who hurt you can help you heal. You will never be able to get past the pain and hurt you experience if you remain near them. Even though you may care about them, it’s crucial to do this for yourself as it will make you feel better.
Creating space away from these people can be beneficial. It will take some time, but eventually, you will be able to heal from the damage they have caused. There will be a reminder of this pain, for as long as you continue to see them.
10. Be kind to yourself
It’s important to be kind to yourself, as doing so will only help you get through the difficult times that you’re going through. You’re already hurting, and being hateful toward yourself will only worsen the situation.
Kindness and compassion can help you cope with the anger and resentment that you’re experiencing. It’s crucial to show yourself how much you care by giving yourself the necessary attention and treating yourself kindly.
11. Forgive yourself
Similar to how we should forgive those who hurt us, we should also do the same for ourselves. We tend to blame ourselves whenever we are hurt, and this is why it’s important to let go of what could’ve been done differently. Instead, learn from your mistakes and use them as an opportunity to grow.
Instead of dwelling on how others exploited you or betrayed you, forgive yourself and set yourself free to make better decisions in the future.
12. Be okay that they might not apologize
One of the most important things in life is closure, as individuals hurt you, and you want to put this behind you. However, you have to be aware that they may not apologize. At the same time, you have to forgive them for their actions so that you can heal yourself.
You have to be able to move on regardless of whether or not they apologize. If they don’t apologize, you might end up waiting for them to do so, which would only build up resentment and anger. That’s why you have to just move on with your life.
13. Seek professional help
If you’re not capable of handling the pain on your own, then seeking professional help can be beneficial. It can help you develop effective coping mechanisms and manage the issues that you’re experiencing.
Talk about your feelings of resentment or anger without judgment. With the help of a therapist, you may be able to understand why you find it hard to let go of grudges.
14. Move forward
If you’re able to forgive the individual, then move on. Although it’s normal to experience pain when others hurt you, it can eventually subside once you forgive them.
We try to hold on to the past and seek retribution in various ways. But, if you’re going to deal with it in a rational manner, it’s best to move on. Letting go of negative emotions is a sign that you’re a better person.
Being able to forgive someone shows that you’re not holding grudges, and it allows others to work toward preventing any future harm. Also, offering a second chance shows that you’re mature.
15. Learn from this experience
Every experience that you’ve had with someone will help you in the future. Although you may become more tolerant or insightful, there is still something to learn from this experience. It can provide you with strength and help you move on from the hurt.
Regardless of how painful the experience may be, it’s important to remember that you’re still capable of handling the situation. In reality, you’re strong even when others hurt you.
What to do when people hurt you?
There are various ways to deal with the hurt that others have caused you. You can either hold on to the resentment and anger that you have, or you can let go of it.
It’s important to be willing to let go of the hurt that others have caused you. This process can be difficult at first, but it can eventually help you become a better person.
After you’ve learned how to handle the hurt that others caused you, take it upon yourself to strengthen your relationships.