If you think that you are the only person who has kinky thoughts, think again. According to a survey, about one in five individuals have a secret passion for sex in their bedroom.
People are starting to explore their sexuality and indulge in kinky sexual activities, such as role-playing and spanking. We’re excited for them!
Prior to the mainstream media’s coverage, being kinky was regarded as taboo. Nowadays, more individuals are open about their sexual preferences.
General guidelines to be kinky
The term kinky has no definite definition, and it usually refers to activities that are not traditionally considered “normal.”
If you’ve been having sex that’s considered “normal,” then you might want to try something new. Doing so allows you to experiment and feel like you’re living a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Although it won’t be as hard as you think, you’ll still need some guidelines to get started.
1. Know what kinks are
Although you may have watched the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, kink isn’t just about spanking. There are many different types of sexual activities that are included in this category.
Some of the types of sexual activities that are commonly considered to be part of being kinky include group sex, voyeurism, BDSM and role-playing.
2. Be curious
If you’re interested in becoming a kinky person, then be curious. Having curiosity about yourself will make you more open to exploring your sexuality.
You should also start reading about the various aspects of being a kinky person and joining online forums and communities.
3. Accept your sexual needs
Although you may enjoy spanking your partner, it does not imply that you have a mental illness or are perverted. Accept that there is a wide range of sexual preferences and have no shame about having them.
4. Talk about it with your partner
You should talk to your partner about this before you tie them up. Before you start engaging in kinky activities, it’s important that you talk to your partner about their limitations and whether or not they’re comfortable with it.
5. Consent is everything
In case you are with a partner, they must agree to explore kinks with you, as not everyone is comfortable with kinky sex.
If you’re planning on exploring your kinky side, then you will have to compromise.
6. Come up with safe words
Without a safe word, you should never engage in kinky activities. This will stop the session whenever either of you or your partner experiences discomfort or pain.
When you utter the safe word, everything stops, and you and your partner talk about it. If you don’t believe that you need one, then you are not ready to embrace kinky.
7. Think about your limitations
Before engaging in any type of sexual activity, it’s crucial that you first think about your limitations. This will help you identify what you would like to avoid during the session.
After you have identified your own limitations, talk to your partner about it. Everyone has limitations, and it’s normal to have them.
8. Experiment solo or with your partner
Although you don’t need a partner to be kinky, you should still be open to exploring your sexuality with whomever you are with.
Before you start doing any type of sexual activity, make sure that you talk to your partner about your limitations and develop boundaries.
9. Start simple
Don’t get carried away by the idea of having hot oil poured on you or tying yourself up. There’s no need to rush into doing so.
Does a flash of skin or a kiss in public turn you on because it’s something that you typically wouldn’t do? That’s kinky for you, because it goes outside of what you’re used to.
Start simple and allow yourself to get used to the new sensations. Once you are ready, start working your way up.
10. Use or don’t use toys
Although there are many types of sex toys that are commonly used by kinky individuals, you should not use them right away.
Although you can use various types of sex toys, you should also start simple to explore your kinky side.
11. Find a kink community
A group of like-minded individuals who share similar interests will provide you with advice and insight from highly experienced individuals, whether you join them through physical or online communities. This will enable you to develop yourself as a person.
12. Take your time
Contrary to popular belief, you are not competing with other individuals for the title of kinkiest person. Instead, you are focused on developing and discovering your own sexual desires.
It’s perfectly fine to experiment with new things, but you should refrain from doing so if you’re not comfortable.
13. Focus on aftercare
While most people don’t pay attention to aftercare, it is a vital part of an individual’s exploration of their kinky side.
After your session, open up and talk about the things that you liked and the things that you didn’t like. This is the only way to improve.
This allows you to bond with whoever you’re with, as well as the deeper you go into it.
How to be kinky
After you’ve learned the basic guidelines about being a kinky individual, you’re now ready to experiment with different types of kinks.
Some of these suggestions will help you explore more daring or outrageous kinks.
1. Blindfold each other
Individuals who engage in BDSM commonly do this. When they lose their sense of sight, their other senses get heightened.
You can blindfold yourself and perform this act simultaneously or you can take turns. It will be more exciting and surprising since you don’t see it coming.
2. Do it in front of a mirror
When you’re having sex, inform your partner that you desire different perspectives. Then, blindfold yourself and do it in a mirror.
Lean in front of the mirror so that you can see both of you and your partner’s pleasure.
3. Create a sex tape
Although most people enjoy watching porn, have you ever seen porn of yourself? That could be incredibly hot and kinky.
You could also create a storyline using the same techniques that you see in porn films. Watch it with your partner and then try out different scenarios the next time around.
4. Tie your partner up
Being kinky involves submission and dominance. With this in mind, one of you can take the dominant position and bind the other one to make them your sex slave.
You should never ask your partner what they want. Instead, just carry out whatever you want, with their consent. Some people prefer to be dominant, while others prefer to be subordinate.
5. Spank each other
When you were a child, your parents probably spanked you as punishment for being bad.
You can pretend that you’re a bad person and that you need to be punished by spanking your partner. This is a turn-on for some people. You can use your hands or something else.
6. Dress up
You could try wearing lingerie that is a bit more daring. This includes fishnet stockings and high heels.
You can also try wearing a variety of different types of kinky outfits. It could be black leather, or anything else that you want.
7. Roleplay
You can also try creating a scenario and characters for your own sexual entertainment. This will help you stand out from the crowd. You can even buy costumes that are more realistic.
There are a wide variety of characters that you can choose from, such as a school teacher or a criminal. Whichever one you choose, make sure that it is taboo so that you can get more excited about it.
8. Watch each other masturbate
Typically, individuals masturbate alone. However, it is kinky to watch as your partner enjoys their pleasure. You could also do it simultaneously.
Take turns and keep track of how your partner enjoys it so you can replicate it later.
9. Watch porn and have sex at the same time
Although you may have watched porn numerous times before, have you ever dipped into it while having sex?
It’s a kinky and hot thing to try and copy what’s seen on the screen. You can imitate certain positions and the toys that the characters use in the film.
10. Try a threesome
A threesome might be just what you need if you’re looking for an exciting and satisfying sexual experience. This type of relationship requires a lot of ground rules and communication. But if both of you are itching to try it, why not?
Before you start trying a threesome, it’s important that you have a clear goal. For instance, if you want a male-female combination, then you should first choose a willing partner.
11. Couple swap
If you’re not interested in trying a threesome but want to spice up your relationship with other individuals, then a couple swap might be a good alternative.
If you’re in a relationship that’s adventurous, then you might want to ask other people if they’re open to switching partners. You should also decide whether you’ll perform the deed in a private or communal setting.
12. Tease with rewards and punishments
A punishment and rewards system could be used to spice up your relationship and have some kinky fun.
One method is to reward your partner by performing a sex act. They can also be punished if they fail to meet your expectations.
13. Go to a sex party
If you’re not in the mood for a threesome or a couple swap, then try looking for a sex party.
A lot of individuals who are swingers hold parties, where they do various types of sexual acts, and sometimes even have group sex.
Toys to get kinky
We’ve covered the fundamentals of being kinky by learning about the guidelines, as well as some basic starting points. We’ll show you some equipment and gear that’s fetish-related. This will provide you with everything you need to know to get started.
- Collars: A submissive wears a collar like a dog, and the dominant person can take them around.
- Chokers: This is worn by submissives to create a tighter sensation around their neck.
- Gags: This item will turn on those who have oral fixations.
- Ball gags: A ball gag is an object that goes into one’s mouth and is secured using a head strap.
- Mouth spreaders: The mouth spreader extends the ball gag as it goes into the mouth.
- Nipple clamps: These nipple clamps can cause painful squeezing or restricted movement.
- Genital clamps: These can be used to restrict blood flow by placing the clamp on the base of the clitoris.
- Nose clamps: These are similar to clothespins, which are used to close one’s nose to prevent breathing.
- Floggers: A flogger is a type of handle with several tails, which is like a mop you would get hit with.
- Paddles: These are shaped like ping-pong paddles, and they’re made to hit a big surface when spanked.
- Whips: This item is regarded as an advanced type of sex toy due to how difficult it is to use.
- Rope or handcuffs: These can be utilized as bondage tools to prevent a person from moving.
- Binders: Arm binders restrict movement completely. They can also be used on legs.
- Bondage tape: This is a type of tape that sticks to itself, excluding the skin or hair of the person using it.
- Shackles: These are wrist or ankle restraints that are used to humiliate or immobilize the individual.
- Spreader bars: These are used to hold your ankles apart and hold your legs in place.
We all have a kinky side. In this guide, you learned everything you need to know about being a kinky person, including equipment and guidelines. It may take some time to master everything, but it’s worth it.