Some women like them bad, while others like them nerdy. There is a certain kind of man that will forever hold a place in their hearts, and that is the gentleman. While it used to be the case that being a gentleman was the pinnacle of being a real man, it is slowly fading away.
Being able to find a real man is a rare treat. Learning how to be a gentleman will allow you to take advantage of every other man in the world.
Before you can go out and ride on a horse like a historical figure in a film, you must first understand the various characteristics of a real gentleman.
You don’t need to wear a suit and carry a fake British accent to be a real gentleman. Gentlemanship is something that you should strive for, and you shouldn’t treat it as an act. It should encompass your whole personality.
What does it mean to be a gentleman?
Gentlemanship does not imply that you are too sensitive or wimpy. It does allow you to have a leg up. A good and gentlemanly man is someone who is kind to others, respectful, and has a sense of right and wrong.
While you may desire to learn how to be a gentleman in the world of dating, this notion goes far beyond that. It affects every aspect of your life.
How to be a gentleman
Are you trying to change up your game in order to become a more modern gentleman?
Are you trying to become a gentleman that women would want to go out with? This article will show you how to do so.
1. Open the door for her
It never gets old. While you may acknowledge that a woman is capable of handling the same level of responsibility as you do when opening a door, the gesture is a sign of your willingness to do something for her.
It shows that you are a proper gentleman, and it can also be regarded as an honor to be chivalrous and polite.
2. Let her sit first
Helping her settle down on a chair is not something you do for her because she requires assistance. It shows you care about her comfort, and you’re willing to sacrifice your own to help her.
This gesture may also give you an excuse to be closer to her without being too creepily close. Pull out her chair and take her seat before you take her.
3. Take off your headgear indoors
Various forms of headgear, such as hats and caps, were made to protect people from the elements. What kinds of protection do you need when you’re inside a restaurant, a cinema, or a house?
Although it’s perfectly fine to wear caps and fedoras as they complete your overall appearance, it’s not a good idea to keep your headgear on indoors.
4. Mind your basic table manners
If you’re not mindful of proper table manners while you’re eating at home, then make an effort to learn about it online.
Among the basic rules of table manners are not resting one’s elbows on the table and keeping one’s mouth closed when chewing. This is an important aspect of being a gentleman.
5. Don’t touch other people’s things
It’s a no-brainer, but many men and women fail to notice this rule. For instance, you’re on a date with a girl, and you notice her bag on the table. It’s keeping you from properly placing your glass.
You are showing a lack of respect for her by pushing her bag toward it. It would be rude to do so, and it would also be rude to move the bag.
However, instead of pushing her bag, you should ask her to put it on the chair or hang it on the hooks under the table.
It is forbidden to touch other individuals’ property, so ask first before doing anything.
6. Control how many drinks you’ll have or don’t drink at all
After a couple of drinks, your manners, politeness, and chivalry may well have gone out the window.
Unless you’re exceptionally good at holding your liquor, you should refrain from ordering the fourth beer. This will enable you to reduce the urge to gurgle uncontrollably.
Getting drunk on a date is also very bad. While you may think that these suggestions would make for a good conversation, you might actually be saying things that are obscene. It’s important to watch what you say or do so that you don’t get slapped in the face.
7. Listen to what she has to say
If you’re on a date, make sure that you’re paying attention to the things that are happening around you. Even if your companion is talking about something that you find boring, try to listen to her. Try to talk about something that both of you find interesting.
One of the most important factors that men should consider when it comes to approaching a woman on a date is having some common ground. This will allow them to have something in common and make their relationship work.
8. Avoid crass or vulgar humor
On a date with somebody you like, you should avoid doing anything that could offend her.
It is imperative to avoid impishly producing dick jokes prior to engaging in any banter with her, as it will not elicit a giggle from her. Furthermore, avoid making her giggle with an undeserving insult prior to engaging in any banter.
9. Keep your phone off limits while you’re on a date
You can imagine how exciting it would be to have a great conversation with a woman after all of these precautions have been taken.
Before you go to the restaurant, make sure that your phone is off. It will not only interrupt your conversation, it will also disturb other people.
On a date, don’t check your phone every few minutes. Even if your partner is boring, what could be wrong with using your device after the fact?
10. When asking a lady out, give her a few days’ notice
While it may seem spontaneous to ask a woman out on a date, if you’re looking for propriety, then you should wait a few days before doing so.
This will enable you to avoid getting caught off-guard, as well as ensure that she doesn’t have to cancel her plans just for you.
11. Call more, text less
Texting can feel impersonal, as it doesn’t have any nonverbal cues and lacks tone.
When it comes to saying something significant to a woman, it’s important that you call her. This shows her that you care about her and that you’re willing to make time for her.
12. Be clear about what you want, but don’t be tactless
Modern dating can be a bit confusing for both women and men. Going out for coffee or lunch may seem like a casual encounter, but the woman you’re with may interpret it differently. It’s important to make it clear to her so that she can understand what you want.
Don’t try to imply that you want to be with her or that you’re planning on sleeping with her. Nobody would interpret such an approach as sincere.
One way to express your feelings about a woman is by saying something like, “I’d like to take you out on a date.” This will eliminate any ambiguity regarding your intentions.
This shows her what you want and lets her make her own decisions based on what you said.
13. If it’s over for you, break up with her in person
If things aren’t going well between you and her, then it’s time to tell her in person. However, it’s not acceptable to text, email, or post something on her refrigerator unless you’ve just been on a date.
She has the right to reply to you directly, as ignoring her merely because you no longer care about her is not only rude, but it can also be very harmful, especially if she has feelings for you.
14. Be mindful of how you dress
True gentlemen carry their clothes appropriately in every situation. This includes when they’re with their rowdy companions or in the presence of women.
Although it’s not necessary to spend a lot of money on high-end clothes to achieve the look of a fashionable young man, you should still dress appropriately.
You should avoid wearing ill-fitting clothes, dirty, tattered, or bedraggled apparel. When selecting what to wear, ensure that it fits the occasion.
If it makes you feel more confident, go with it. However, dressing in a slovenly manner will not do much.
15. Adopt good posture
A good posture can tell a lot about your personality, and men should practice it.
Maintaining a firm stance, walking with a confident gait, and keeping a straight face are some of the essential characteristics that men should have in order to attract women.
16. Always be courteous and respectful when talking to a lady *or anyone*
In the film Kingsman, Sir Colin Firth said that men are regarded as the “Manners maketh man.”
The way that a man treats people around him is the most important characteristic of a true gentleman. If you’re not familiar with Colin Firth, then you can easily find a good representation of him through Google.
While it’s fine to have a “gentleman” facade in the presence of a stunning woman, treating the other people around you in an inappropriate manner is not proper gentleman behavior.
17. Be considerate to your female companions
It’s important that you treat women with respect. This includes being kind to your co-workers, your date, or even your sister.
- Open doors: When exiting or entering a building, hold the door open so that your female companion can get in. This applies to vehicles as well.
- Stand up to greet a lady approaching you: Also, stand up when a lady excuses herself from the table.
- Pull out the chair for a female companion: Don’t forget to take her coat when she sits down.
- Offer your arm: Women will appreciate your arm as they walk or go up the stairs, especially when you are accompanied by an elderly individual.
- Offer to walk her home: If this isn’t possible, at least hail your female companion a cab after a date.
- When using public transport, offer up your seat: You should offer your chair to a disabled person, a senior citizen, or lady who requires it more.
These are meaningful to every woman, not just the one you’re interested in.
18. Mind your language
Conducting yourself in a disorderly manner, particularly in social instances, does not make you a cool person. In addition, do not swear while talking to women.
Use neutral language and avoid using words that you don’t understand in order to make a good impression.
A real gentleman would never make inappropriate remarks or disclose disturbing stories, especially in a casual setting.
19. Always be on time, if not ten minutes early
You should never allow your date to wait. It’s expected that a man arrives earlier than the scheduled time to give you time to get ready.
20. Compliment your date, but never be sleazy
It’s important that you compliment your date on her appearance as she probably put a lot of effort into looking good. But, instead of using a far-fetched or outlandish approach, make genuine compliments.
21. Make meaningful conversation
For the first ten minutes, small talk is fine. The conversation should then get deeper and more meaningful. On a first date, try to start the conversation and ask questions. This will establish that you’re interested in her.
You should refrain from dominating the conversation. Instead, allow your date to finish talking and allow you to contribute your own response or story.
22. Be prepared to pay for the bill during dates
If your date wants to split the bill, but you refuse to pay, it’s a shameful and ungentlemanly act. Even if you forgot your wallet, doing this is not only unethical, but also ungentlemanly.
Nowadays, it’s possible for your date to insist upon splitting the bill on a first date. You can still decline and suggest that she can pay on the following date.
This is a good way to get to know her better and also a gentlemanly way to ask for a second date.
23. Look for moments to show your gentlemanliness
You may recall an encounter in a movie where a girl says, “Oh what a gentleman?” It is the moment that you desire. By learning how to act like a gentleman, you will be able to have it.
If it’s raining, try to share an umbrella with a woman who doesn’t have one. Also, offer to help an individual load their car.
You should also be aware of people who may use your kindness and generosity. Being a gentleman involves helping others.
24. Put in the effort at all times
Rather than having an ideal wardrobe, being a gentleman is about what you use your clothes for.
While you may prefer to wear jeans as much as the next guy, if you’re going to be meeting the parents of your girlfriend, then you might want to consider investing in some nice ironed slacks.
You should bring something special for her parents, such as flowers or a bottle of wine. It’s important to make a good first impression, and you should never go to someone’s house empty-handed.
When were men still able to behave like gentlemen? In the olden days, people would show their intentions and kindness by making an extra effort.
25. Keep private things, private
Spreading secrets is one of the ways that can ruin the good gestures that people make.
Although a man may appear to be an elegant individual at first glance, he can lose the title of gentleman after he decides to share inappropriate information with others.
What kinds of things should a man tell others? We like to think that if you’re not planning on telling your mom about your new girlfriend, then you shouldn’t tell anyone else. Even though you may tell your friends that you’re seeing a funny and cute girl, you shouldn’t talk about her personal or intimate details.
26. Have patience
Although men can be in a hurry, they still show signs of patience. For instance, if you’re running through a crowd, you might say “Excuse me.” Being a gentleman doesn’t just mean that you’re a smart and charming individual. It also means that in all situations, your behavior should be impeccable.
If a woman wants to wait for you to meet her parents, or if she’s hoping to kiss you, then be patient. A good man knows that the right woman is worth the wait.
27. Respect all women and elders
Being a gentleman requires you to know how to treat others with dignity and respect. This is because without this, all other things are meaningless. Being able to acknowledge and value everyone is very important to being a good man.
28. Always be honest
A gentleman never lies. It is as simple as that.
29. Mind your manners
While saying “thank you” and “please” is a basic part of being a good man, proper etiquette goes beyond just saying “thank you.” There are also times when cursing can be appropriate. However, it should be avoided in most situations.
Manners should not only be for the people who you want to impress, but also for workers, children, and the elderly.
30. Be open-minded
Although being a gentleman doesn’t mean that you can’t have your own opinions, it also means that you should be open-minded about others’ opinions.
Being a good man doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with others. However, you should avoid getting into arguments and judging them based on their beliefs.
31. Read signals
Being aware of one’s surroundings is very important to a good man. He should also be able to pick up on things that other people may not notice.
If your girlfriend is feeling chilly, then give her an opportunity to wear your jacket without asking. Also, show her how much you care by offering to take her outside during an event.
Being able to anticipate what other people want is a great trait to have in order to become a gentleman.
32. Make the first move
Being able to make the first move doesn’t have to be aggressive. It can be both charming and romantic. It shows that you’re willing to take risks. The ability to make the initial move conveys initiative and confidence.
33. Always show understanding
Gentlemanly traits include being a superb listener. While a woman is speaking, you still have to remain attentive.
Being able to absorb what other people are saying is also very important to being able to respond in a thoughtful manner. Being able to understand the other person’s situation is very important to being able to be a good man.
34. Keep your word
Although it’s already been stated that a gentleman should never lie, being able to keep one’s word is a different matter. No one would intentionally break their word, but it happens.
A good man will be able to keep a promise he made to someone after they initiated it. He will know how to keep it after they have made it.
35. Protect others
This doesn’t connote that you have to take up the formal training of the police academy. Rather, it indicates that you are willing to stand up for those who are being persecuted. If a female is being harassed, you would step in and help her get home. You should also never leave her alone at night.
A good man would also help a child or an elderly individual who is lost. As a result, he puts the needs of others above his own.
36. Don’t make promises you can’t keep
A man who makes promises that he can’t keep is considered unreliable. This can affect the quality of a relationship between partners.
If you make promises that you can’t keep, then she will likely learn to avoid giving you details about what’s going on in her life. This could lead to problems in the relationship. You may also make her feel like you’re taking her for granted, which could make her feel like she needs to improve.
37. Be open and honest
Women are more likely to communicate with one another than men are. Being able to talk about your inner fears and work, as well as your friends and family, will have a more positive impact than getting her flowers.
She may know how hard it is to be open with you, but being able to persist in doing so shows that she is special to you.
38. Don’t hide things from the person you’re dating
Most men are not aware that women don’t expect perfection from them. They often nag because their partners don’t tell them anything until it’s too late or they find another way to get it.
Being able to tell her when something serious is happening will show that you are willing to share details and maintain an open relationship.
If she’s not happy at first, she’ll eventually come around. You can work things out in a peaceful manner.
39. Be there when times get tough
Some women choose to leave their partners and go with a man because they were never able to rely on them when they needed them most.
If you don’t provide her with the necessary assistance or someone to confide in, someone else will. This is why you shouldn’t keep her. You may despise her but you don’t think she’s cute, so why would you want to keep her?
Being there for her during difficult times will show that you are willing to help her, should she need it. That’s gentlemanly behavior.
40. Don’t dominate the relationship
Being dominant can be sexy, provided it’s done correctly. For example, dominating her in every aspect of her life won’t work. On the other hand, dominating her bedroom will do wonders.
It’s important to balance your expectations with hers, as she may be better than you at certain things. Play up her strengths.
41. Reciprocate in the bedroom
Make sure that it’s not all about you when it comes to getting it on. If you spend a lot of time getting attended to, she needs to be made to feel valued and content. Doing the things that she enjoys will allow her to relax and have fun.
It may feel like a lot of work to learn how to be a gentleman, but it is actually about being decent. Being respectful, showing your manners, and listening to others is not difficult.
It’s odd that so much of this has gone away in contemporary society. By learning how to be gentlemanly, you can not only impress potential partners, but you can also build a good reputation as a gentleman.
There are various rules to being a gentleman, but by mastering these, you can easily become an ideal gentleman in a world where there are ill-mannered individuals.