The concept of “cougar dating” has been around for a while in popular culture. But, it seems that the appeal of older women is now more prominent than ever.
The sexual predator that has been depicted in modern media is a fascination for many men. It has led to an increasing acceptance of the gap between older women and younger men.
What is a cougar?
The term “cougar” is used to describe a woman who has been dating a younger man, whether in a one-off or serial fashion. It’s up to the individuals around them to decide if the term is appropriate.
Most people think of a cougar as a sexy older woman in her 30s or 40s. But, it’s more accurate to say that her age difference is the reason why she’s referred to as such.
For instance, if an 18-year-old man is currently dating a woman who is in her late 20s, he might consider her a cougar even if her age doesn’t usually associate itself with this term.
What makes cougar women sexy and desirable
If you’re planning on calling a woman a cougar, make sure that you don’t use the term in her face. Calling a woman a cougar is inappropriate, and it makes her feel like she’s old.
On the other hand, it’s understandable that men would find older women more attractive. They have various advantages over younger women.
Although they may not have the same natural assets as younger women, older women are still not shy about discussing personal hygiene issues.
Women who are known as cougars know what they want in life. They don’t want a man who can satisfy them, but rather one who they just like.
There are many reasons why women who are referred to as “cougars” are attractive.
1. They aren’t looking for you to take care of them
Mature and experienced women are not only capable of looking after themselves, but they’re also wise to the fact that the only thing they can rely on is themselves.
Women who are older are not expecting you to take care of them. They’re independent and do not need you to carry them around.
2. They are less shallow
Mature women have experienced more life experiences, which means they know that there’s more to life than expensive jewelry and designer handbags.
Women who are older are more concerned with the outside world and cultural issues, such as politics. They’re not interested in superficial conversations about trivial matters.
3. They aren’t looking for someone to pay for them
Unlike younger women, cougars don’t require you to look after them. They have the money to support themselves.
Even though they appreciate the gesture of showing appreciation by paying the bill, older women are not impressed by expensive jewelry or birthday presents. They’ve already experienced this.
4. They care about something other than themselves
With time, older women have developed their careers and figured out what they want to be in life. This means they’re no longer focusing on their needs.
With the selfishness out of the way, older women are more likely to encourage you to pursue your goals. They’ll also take the backseat so you can figure out what you’re after.
5. There is no pressure
What sets older women apart from younger ones is that they do not seek commitment. Instead, they prefer to take their relationship slowly.
Most women are not looking for long-term relationships. Instead, they’re looking for someone who can make them laugh. The lack of pressure can be an enjoyable advantage.
6. They understand “me” time
Women who are older understand that men also need time. They’re not used to being envious or demanding that you give them all the attention.
If you’re planning on hanging out with the men, you’ll have to be very assertive. Women who are older usually plan their own evening and do not involve you in it. You are free to enjoy your life without them.
7. They are physically well “maintained”
When you’re with older women, they have it all, and it’s not a sidetrack. The main reason why you should date them is that they are still sexy even though they’re older than you.
Women who are older have a better quality of life than they did when they were younger. They’re also more likely to keep their hormonal levels in check.
8. They are more self-confident
Is it worse than going out with a person who doesn’t know what they want? If you can’t decide which restaurant or movie to go to, fine. If a woman constantly puts the pressure on you to plan ahead, it can be a bit irritating.
With a clear understanding of what they want and what they don’t like, older women are a lot more comfortable expressing themselves. The lack of expectations can be refreshing.
9. They treat you like an adult
When you’re regarded as a man by cougar women, they will most likely fall in love with you due to how they admire you.
Regardless of what you possess, she is free to tell you how good you are. A compliment is permitted whenever warranted.
10. There is no game playing
Rather than engaging in games, older women do not care if you remain single or not. If it does not work, they likely would not be interested in committing anyway.
There is no set of rules when it comes to being with a cougar. If you are irritating her, she will likely let you know, and she won’t waste time playing games if she likes you. The words she uses are what she actually means.
11. She isn’t anxious for you to meet the family
Unlike the younger women who are looking for a long-term relationship, older women are not into pushing you to get to know her family.
With older women, you are free to be who you want to be. They do not want to make you a part of their life forever.
You don’t have to go on couples’ dates with older women, as they are not dependent on family get-togethers. They are independent and do not want to be dragged along as a display.
12. She isn’t into appearances
If the hottest club in town is where you want to be, but she doesn’t want to be associated with the nonsense, then you might as well not try.
Overwrought with life experience and burdened with too much to-do list, older women are content to do mundane things merely because they enjoy them and do not aspire to be part of a social hierarchy.
She values those who are worth it, as she is calmer and more understanding of what is real.
13. So much less drama
The way older women see it, they are not interested in drama. They won’t try to make up stories about their past relationships in order to attract your attention. Mature women are not interested in big-time drama either.
When it comes to drama, older women are not interested in it at the first sight. They don’t want to be involved in something that is waste of time and energy.
14. You get access to her network
Because most older women have established careers, you may be able to gain an edge if you make the right moves.
If you are starting out in the financial services sector, then an older woman may be able to introduce you to some of the individuals who can help you succeed.
You could also ask an older woman if she would be interested in attending a business networking event with you. This is because, according to them, it is always who you know.
15. She’s past the age of getting pregnant
Women your age are most likely hoping to get married and start a family someday. On the other hand, a cougar is likely past her prime.
She may already have kids, or she just doesn’t want more. Because of her age, she might not be able to have them anymore.
Young women have to deal with the fear of having an unwanted pregnancy or failing to use birth control. This is an issue that most people experience during their childbearing years.
With a cougar, you can focus on having sex without worrying about the world around you.
16. She’s low maintenance
Young women have a lot of goals, but their self-esteem can be low due to how they tend to focus too much on what other people think of them.
With their significant others, they may be bossy. Most of them have high standards for their partners and are hoping that they can change their current partners’ behavior.
As people get older, they begin to focus less on what other individuals think. In addition, they realize that they cannot change or control others. This makes a cougar much more low-maintenance than a woman of your age.
17. She doesn’t mind spoiling you
It’s widely believed that a cougar has succeeded in her professional field. An older woman may own a home, a car, and an investment fund. She may also have extra money in the bank.
With her kids having grown, she may no longer need to spend all her money supporting them. Now what will she do with all of her extra money?
If you’re in a relationship with an older woman, she may spend it on you, such as on a vacation, a new wardrobe, or even fancy restaurants. You could also enjoy the good life if you’re with a cougar.
18. Her experience in the bedroom is far superior
According to the saying, “practice makes perfect,” a cougar has experienced sex several times over, and their skills are enhanced by the experience.
Older women have more toys and tricks up their sleeves compared to younger ones. They have likely been with more men, which makes them privy to the moves that they prefer.
She may teach you a thing or two, and she can turn you on in the process.
How do you know if a cougar wants you?
Although you may be interested in a cougar, how do you know if she genuinely wants to be with you? There are many signs that you can look for, so don’t worry.
1. She flirts with you in a pretty obvious way
When a woman is open to the idea of being with a man, she tends to flirt. If an older woman starts talking about being with a man, it indicates that she wants to be with him.
She may also ask your opinion of her new lipstick or dress in order to gain your attention.
2. She acts like a kid around you
Even though she may act like an older person, she is different when she is with you.
She may start to sound like a child in order to show that she is interested in you, and her smile and manner are often excited.
3. She asks if age matters to you in a relationship
If she starts asking whether or not age is important in a relationship, then she’s likely interested in you.
She may start talking about a woman who is significantly older than the man she is currently dating, and she might also ask your opinion. This indicates that she’s interested in finding out if you are open to being with older individuals.
4. She lets you know that she’s single
A woman who is interested in you will either tell you that she is single or she will open up about her search without making an explicit statement.
In her case, she may state her desire to mingle or reveal that she has been aimlessly looking for love for some time.
5. She doesn’t mind sharing dirty jokes with you
Although it’s normal for older women to share dirty jokes with their friends, if they only share them with you, this shows that they’re comfortable being with you.
She doesn’t mind that you may see her naughty side. She’s hoping that you will start seeing her in a more sexual light, as this is her reason for doing this.
How to date a cougar
One of the most important factors to remember when it comes to dating a cougar is the age difference. This means that you’ll be entering uncharted waters.
Older women are different from the ones that you’re used to dating. They have more life experience to draw upon. The basic rules of being with a woman who is older than you are the same as they are for other women.
To help you navigate through the uncharted waters of being with an older woman, here are some of the rules that will guide you.
1. Make sure you’re up to it
The term cougar has been used to refer to an animal that is fierce and willful, instead of “kitten” or “panda.” This animal is so ferocious that even grizzly bears would find it difficult to take on.
If you’re planning on being with a cougar, then you need to have the necessary energy to keep up with her.
The sexual peak of women peaks between their mid-20s and forties. This is because they have experienced a period of sexual growth.
If you’re not feeling passionate about her, then you might want to rethink your plans. She will most likely end up seeking other options instead.
2. Don’t mention the C word
“Cougar” is the correct term to use, but it does not imply that an older woman desires to be regarded as such.
The word “cougar” implies that an older woman is incapable of seeing herself properly. Therefore, avoid using the term “cougar” entirely.
You should treat older women as a human being and not a lover. If you’re still fond of her, then keep it to yourself.
3. Love her, love her kids
In the world of possibility, an older woman may come with a ready-made family. Unless she has explicitly stated that their relationship is strictly physical, then you should be ready to get involved.
If you don’t address her concerns, then she will end up cutting you off completely from her life. One fight that you will not be able to overcome is her concerns.
4. Be a man
You shouldn’t expect her to behave like a child, even though she has a toy for you. A cougar is real, and she desires to be with a real man. This is why she made you her first choice.
When she starts getting aggressive with you, stand up and don’t back down. You should also be assertive and prepare for an intense makeup sex encounter.
5. Be exciting
She may have started looking for someone because she feels that her life has become mundane.
She may have recently split from a long-term relationship. She may have been dragged down by a domestic sloth or a couch potato.
She doesn’t need a repeat performance. Instead, she needs something exciting and spontaneous. She’s feeling like her life has been missing a bit of zest.
6. Step it up
Older women are experienced in various areas of life, which makes them harder to impress than the average women you may have met.
This also means that you have to bring out your best card every time you interact with an older woman. This includes things like the kind of restaurants that you are planning on taking her to, as well as the gifts that you are giving her.
If she doesn’t think that you are sophisticated enough, then she’ll just go looking for something else.
7. Paint your tongue silver
We already talked about the rule about not talking about her age. But, since a younger man has recently arrived on the scene, she’ll be more aware of it.
She’ll appreciate compliments, as they can help her feel more confident and put a sexy mature image on her.
8. Don’t be a control freak
If you’re used to getting your way in a relationship, then you’re probably not the right person for this.
Sassy, sexy, and experienced women will not respond to your every whim, command, or request like a foolish teenager would.
It may be necessary to change your approach or risk severe consequences.
9. Prepare for the baggage
We’re not just talking about the kids. When it comes to being with a cougar, there may be various baggage to deal with. Some of the issues that may come with being with a cougar include ex-husbands or boyfriends.
There may also be issues with the stigma attached to age-gap relationships, especially among members of the public and close friends and relatives.
10. Establish the boundaries
This is also important to take into account, as it will determine what type of relationship you’re looking for. This may be because she doesn’t care about anything deeper and is just looking for a physical relationship.
This could be true for you, as well. Having an open and honest discussion about this issue is important to ensure that nobody gets hurt.
11. Be assertive
A woman who is known as a “cougar” doesn’t want to be associated with a timid little boy. Instead, she prefers men who are assertive.
Although she has a successful career and is content with her life, a woman still prefers a man who is capable of taking charge.
This means that you should lead by example and not allow others to chase you. You should also take charge of certain tasks in your daily life, such as getting the job done at work or in a restaurant.
It’s important that you are the one who chases her, not the other way around. You should also take charge of certain aspects of your life, such as leading in a restaurant or getting something done at home.
12. Take it slow
There’s no need to rush into a relationship with a woman who is a cougar. The younger ones may want to get things started because they believe that their biological clock is already ticking.
There’s nothing wrong with waiting for a relationship with a cougar to develop, as it may not last long. These types of relationships are often temporary and can be enjoyed at the time.
13. Ignore the age gap
She may still feel a little self-conscious, as it can be hard for older women especially when they’re successful and beautiful.
One of the most important things that you should do is ignore the age gap between yourself and the woman you’re interested in. You can also pretend that you are the same age as the woman you’re interested in.
Things you should know when dating a cougar
After learning how to approach and date a cougar, there are still more important things you should know when it comes to doing so.
1. There’s a reason you want to date her
It’s possible that you already know the reason why you want to be with a cougar. It could be that you like older women due to their maturity.
It could be that you’re simply enjoying being with her. Or it could be that you’re just looking for something fun to do.
2. There’s a reason she wants to date you, too
The goal of dating is to connect two ways. Your cougar will know why she’s choosing you as well.
It could be that she’s simply looking for someone who she can show off as her boyfriend. You could also be thinking that the two of you have a great time together and are just trying to make her smile.
3. Your priorities might be different
Older women may prioritize their priorities differently from you. For instance, she may be an empty nester or stay at home with her kids.
At the same time, you may still be enjoying the nightlife. Being in different stages of life can make your priorities different.
4. There’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not
You may want to impress her when you’re with her, but she doesn’t want you to act like a fake person.
If you’re not rich, don’t pretend that you are. You only have to be yourself and show her that you are real.
5. You might face judgments
Many people do not understand how to approach and date cougars. Some believe that it’s better to have a small age gap when it comes to relationships, especially with older women.
You have to ignore these people, as it is none of their concern.
6. She will not want to play games
You may be a player type of person because you’re still young. In some cases, you may have been stringing along a few girls in order to be more mysterious.
If you’re trying to approach and date a cougar, you have to be honest and straight-up. Otherwise, it will not work.
7. She probably doesn’t like the term “cougar”
She may be sensitive to her age. If she doesn’t like being referred to as a “cougar,” then she might not want to be associated with this term.
Although you may believe that calling her a cougar is both funny and cute, she may find it offensive. Therefore, avoid the term altogether.
8. Don’t focus on her age
You don’t want to focus solely on her age or how young you are. Unless you want to be a “Donnie Downer,” don’t focus on her age. Instead, enjoy life and have fun.
Can a cougar relationship work?
A relationship with a cougar may work, but there are certain factors that can either contribute to its downfall or flourishing.
1. Couple goals
The man and the woman have to agree on what they want in a relationship.
The women may want a long-term relationship with the man, while the other wants casual sex. This cannot work. They have to agree on their short and long-term goals.
2. Age gap
Many people believe that a cougar is someone who is at least ten years older than a man. But there could also be an age gap too.
If the woman is 15 or more years older than you, then that may not work. Having a small age gap is better than having a large one.
3. Considering all the pros and cons
It may seem like a great idea to start a relationship with a cougar, as it could be exciting, new, or something that neither of them have tried before.
But, if both the woman and the man have not taken into account the possible advantages and disadvantages of a relationship, then they might decide that it is not for them.
4. Compatibility
The concept of a cougar relationship goes beyond just sex. It also involves other areas of compatibility, such as values, lifestyle, and personality.
These are the fundamental elements of any relationship, and if they don’t align with each other, it can end up not working.
5. Love
One of the most important factors that can affect whether or not a relationship with a cougar can work is how much fun it is initially.
If both parties are in love, then a relationship can work for a long time. Love is the glue that holds couples together, and the relationship between a cougar and their cubs is no different from any other one.
The stigma surrounding dating older women has diminished significantly over time. If you’re planning on getting serious with a cougar, then following these rules should be enough to ensure that everything goes smoothly.