There are always going to be people who are more dominant in bed or in life. It’s not a bad thing, and it’s not a big deal if you enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Although you may be dominant in certain aspects of your life, you could also be submissive when it comes to sex. For instance, if you are dominant in bed, then meeting somebody who is also dominant can make you submissive.
If you’re interested in learning about sexual dominance, then this is the place for you.
What is sexual dominance?
In sexual dominance, one person is in charge. There are two types of individuals involved: a dominant and a submissive.
Submission and sexual dominance must be consensual agreements that enable partners to have fun and explore their sexual limits.
Levels of dominance
There are three types of dominance, and depending on how your partner and you decide, you may start with aggressive, moderate, or gentle.
1. Gentle
If you’re new to the world of BDSM and haven’t learned how to be dominant yet, then start with gentle dominance. This will give you time to explore what you’re interested in.
You’re likely to be gentle if you’re not dominating your partner in any way. This includes talking dirty, manhandling, and pushing against the wall.
2. Moderate
People who embrace moderate dominance find it fun. This type of dominance involves spanking, biting, and being denied orgasms.
With most partners engaging in moderate dominance, they can already teach you how to be dominant. This is great because you’ll be able to learn from them.
3. Aggressive
You should be aggressive and dominant in bed, which often involves gagging, choking, and BDSM. Reaching this level will require some practice and understanding what you like and don’t.
Unless you’ve been actively daydreaming about it, we would not advise doing this immediately. It may not be something that either of you desire.
How being dominant in bed can help your sex life
Many people are shy or quiet in bed. They either don’t tell their partner about what they want or feel is great, which can make them feel frustrated.
The more you learn how to be dominant, the more comfortable you will be in bed, and this will allow you to open up to your partner and talk about anything that’s important to you.
By dictating what your partner should do, you can ensure that they will ultimately learn what you desire.
This is also about taking on a new persona or character and exploring what you like in bed. As a result, you can discover new pleasures you had no idea about.
Things to keep in mind beforehand
Before attempting to become dominant in bed, it’s important to consider these points carefully.
1. Discuss it with your partner first
One of the most important factors to consider when it comes to learning how to be dominant is that you’re not yet ready to take on this type of responsibility.
Before you decide on how far you want to go with your dominant behavior, it’s important to determine if your partner is open to it.
2. Start slowly and work your way up
You should avoid going into bed with a barrage of whips right away. Instead, start slowly and subtle.
One of the first steps in learning how to be dominant is to move your partner’s hands toward where you want them.
3. Only do what you’re comfortable with
You should refrain from using terms that you learned from the Internet to be dominant in bed. Instead, only go as far as you are comfortable with.
If you’re feeling awkward while commanding your partner, it’s not going to be very effective.
How not to cross any boundaries
There are various levels of dominance, and it’s important that both of you are comfortable at the level that you’re at. It’s also important to avoid going beyond that which you’re comfortable with.
Start by discussing what dominance means to both of you. Set realistic expectations for both of you and take any limitations that you wish to put forth into account.
One of the most effective ways to establish dominance is by offering a safe word. If either of you feels uneasy at any point, just say it.
How to be dominant in bed
If you’re still curious about how to be dominant, then it’s time to learn how to do it.
1. Do it because you want to
If you’re not entirely comfortable with being a dominant person, then don’t attempt this. But, if you’re still interested in learning how to dominate, then try it.
Ultimately, you should try it for yourself rather than your partner.
2. Know how far your partner is willing to go
Before you have sex, it’s crucial that you both take the time to consider what’s comfortable for both of you. This will allow you to determine how far you’re willing to go.
3. It takes time to develop dominance
It may take some time to become dominant, and it’s not likely that you’ll be able to achieve this in a couple of days.
Don’t try to exert too much pressure when it comes to performing. Instead, take your time and enjoy the flow.
4. Have a safe word
You need a safe word, not just for yourself but also for both of you. It should avoid terms that can be used during intercourse. For instance, you should never use the word “cock.”
Use terms such as “pineapple” or “cabbage.” Unless you’re planning on using them in bed, choose another word.
5. Wear what makes you feel dominant
You don’t have to wear a choker or strapless dress in order to be dominant. While you can be dominant without being completely naked, you should only be concerned with what makes you feel sexy and confident.
Wearing an apron is appropriate if you notice these things while you’re wearing it. It’s important to remain free of any constraints.
6. Communicate
You must learn to communicate with your partner when you are trying to become dominant in bed.
This involves ensuring that both partners are comfortable and that they are receiving what they want during the experience. In addition to that, you also need to ensure that your needs are met.
7. More doesn’t mean better
People believe that being dominant in bed will result in better sex. In reality, being dominant does not involve having to wear black latex or wax your partner’s back.
Dominant behavior is not a bad thing if it’s done in a way that’s appropriate for both of you. It’s based on the factors that make you feel good.
8. Use everything
You can be dominant by using various items, such as toys, candles, and fruit. Although you must ensure that your partner will agree with you, you should still not hold back if they do.
9. Learn what you like first
It’s not always possible to tell your partner what to do if you’re not sure how it will feel. Instead, try to find the best feeling for yourself.
This will allow you to direct your partner in a more accurate manner.
10. Have confidence
You must have a higher level of confidence in order to be dominant in bed. Having a clear understanding of what you’re saying will help avoid awkward and ineffective communication.
11. Start in the foreplay
You can show dominance during foreplay. Get bossy right away, and as you get more involved, your pleasure will increase. Having your partner aware of what you want will make you feel more satisfied.
Your dominance will also help set the tone for the rest of the session.
12. If you’re too shy to talk, guide them with your hands
Don’t be afraid to be assertive. If you’re not ready to verbally demand, engage in physical aggression. With your partner’s hands, guide them in the direction that you desire.
Even though you’re not talkative, you can still exert pressure in bed.
13. Start by being verbal about what feels good
You can start to ease into your demands by stating when you want something.
They should know that you are doing the right thing, even while you are dominant. A simple “that feels good” can get them moving in the right direction.
14. Whisper in their ear what you want
You can learn how to be dominant by getting close to your partner’s ear. This will allow you to express what you want and also communicate what feels good.
You can also whisper something like, “I love that feeling when you touch me there,” which is subtle yet dominant.
15. Start commanding them
If everything is going well in your relationship, then start demanding that your partner take action.
If you’re not used to being dominant, then this may be a bit overwhelming. But, make sure that you’re doing it in a way that’s pleasing to them.
16. Gauge how they’re taking it
First, it’s important to acknowledge that your partner might not understand how dominant you are initially. They might interpret this as a negative sign that they’re unable to satisfy you.
17. Get comfortable with your dominance
We understand that it may feel strange to command your partner to engage in certain actions, but it is necessary to learn how to do so.
It’s important to practice doing it in order to make it worthwhile. Having a good attitude about it will allow you to dominate when needed.
18. Let them know they’re doing the right thing
Some individuals may be too demanding in bed, which can be a cause for concern for their partner. Even though you’re dictating their behavior, you can still be encouraging.
You can also tell them if they’re following your desires so that they can feel more confident.
19. Maintain eye contact
You can make a powerful impact with eye contact. It can be carried out with a stern gaze and powerful words.
Although eye contact isn’t required, it’s still important to maintain it in order to be dominant in bed. Having the right balance between eye contact and other actions is also important to be successful in this area.
20. Try hair pulling
One of the easiest ways to become dominant is by pulling their hair. Although this method is painful, it can be very sexy if done while you’re in the middle of a passionate exchange.
21. Give honorifics a go
This means you will be called “sir”, or whatever else you want to be called, is typically associated with prestige and rank. Some individuals find it beneficial to have this title when they’re in dominant mode, as it lets them “snap out” of their regular personas.
22. Talk dirty
If you’re not afraid to show your dirty side, don’t hesitate to do so as long as it doesn’t upset your partner. Talking dirty is a traditional aspect of dominance, and it can push the boundaries of what’s considered sexual.
It’s important to learn how to do it slowly, as not everyone will be comfortable with it. You can also practice in the mirror.
23. Use your body weight
If you’re not into bondage and your partner refuses to try it, you can still use your body weight as a substitute.
This is less restrictive as it doesn’t feel as helpless as being tied up. But, it still gives the same effect.
24. Don’t abuse the dynamic
This is a private sexual experience that you share with your significant other, and you should refrain from using it as an excuse to hurt or manipulate them. Doing so will only abuse their trust.
25. Don’t forget aftercare
After a session of bedroom dominance, it’s important to show affection and cuddle your partner. This can be a powerful experience, and a little indulgence can help bring everything back to its normal state. You can also perform a massage on your partner if they’ve been in handcuffs.
This is a good opportunity to talk to your partner about the experience and decide if you’re interested in trying it again.
You’ll never know unless you try
Dominant behavior is a type of sexual activity that you may not desire or be comfortable with until you try it. It can be a fun way to explore your preferences, but it may not be for everyone.
You should speak with your partner to find out if they would like to try it. At the end of the day, sex should be fun, and if you both want to spice it up, it’s a good start.
After you’ve learned how to dominate in bed, it’s time to try it out. Although it may seem like a serious activity, sex is all about having fun.